Overcoming obstacles

My Mom brought me over this great chair so now it is much easier for me to do dishes, cook, and work at the kitchen counter without needing to take breaks to sit down.  This perfect chair has been sitting in her attic for years.  It is empowering to overcome obstacles and to be able to take care of myself.  Thanks Mom!

Candles

Finally, Aaron felt we had enough beeswax stored up to make a few candles.  We had enough wicks to make six, but it turns out we have enough wax to make 15-20 candles.  This was our pilot run.  And like most of the things we do around our house there was some trouble shooting involved.

First, We collect the wax in our solar wax melter.  We take frames out the hive that aren't needed anymore and place them in the solar wax melter.  The sun melts the wax and it runs down into a pan.

Second, We process the was.  The was in the pan has wax, honey, water, and debris in it.  It is dark brown and gritty and ugly.  We fill a pot with an inch of water and add the contents from the pan.  Once everything is melted we pour the wax through a wire screen and then through three layers of cheese cloth into a fresh pot.  This gets out alot of the debris.

Third, we pour the hot wax (plus honey/water/and fine debris into a Tupperware container and let it sit over night to solidify.  When it does this is stratifies.  The water goes to the bottom, then the debris in the middle, the wax makes a nice solid brick of pretty wax in colors ranging from bright yellow to white depending on the age and properties of the wax.

Fourth,  We take the wax brick and but it in a pot on low heat, melting it slowly and making sure not to burn it until all the wax is melted.

Fifth, Set up the candle jar.  We have been collecting only glasses, especially those tiny ones that people use for alcohol because they are the perfect size and pretty.  This was our first opportunity for trouble shooting, every blog/book says to place the wick in your container and then to keep it centered and standing using a toothpick across the top and clip the wick to it using a paper clip.  Our paper clips were to heavy and kept tipping the wicks to one side.  So we used that blue tape that you use when your painting trim.  I ripped off a piece that could span the top of the container (our little glasses), poked a hole it using a pen and then threaded the wick through.  The metal piece of the wick sits in the bottom of the glass.  We made sure to center our wicks.  You need to leave enough room to pour the wax in so I rolled the sides of the take up, but I could have cut it.

Sixth, Pour the hot wax into the containers and let sit till it cools and solidifies.  Leave some room at the top.  We discovered that as the candles cooled, the tops cracked.  Aaron explained that this is because the wax was cooling to quickly on the outside and not the center.  Our solution was to pour another layer of wax on top after the wax was solid.  They look really pretty because we used two different waxes, meaning they are from different times and as a result are different colors.  Our candles our a pretty yellow with a pale yellow/white on top.

Our Six Candles.

Lack of Independence

Well the diet is not the only thing Im struggling with today.  A lack of independence is really starting to give me some unwanted anxiety and depression.  My body can't seem to do the things that used to be so simple.  My abilities very from day to day even hour to hour but not being able to write or bathe, see or stand, walk, cook, clean, etc is wearing on me.  Saturday night I was very week and in some pain.  Sunday I stayed in bed most of the day b/c I wasn't feeling well and Aaron was very sick.  Today I woke up fine but after an hour of being up my legs weren't working and I was hurting.  It is frustrating to feel so limited.  To have to decide between showering or doing the dishes because I can only stand long enough to do one or the other.   And there is the always looming risk of falling because of weakness and lack of balance.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day because today I am super frustrated (not to mention the no carbs no sugar which means no comfort food).

I am grateful for an amazing husband who is being very helpful and supportive as well as my Mom who listens to me vent no matter what time of day it is.  It is hard to feel so crummy and look fine and it is hard being bounced from doctor to doctor.    

Carbs :(

Just the thought of preparing a meal void of carbs (and sugar) makes me want to give up.  Aaron was very sick last night so I wasn't going to start our diet today, but he insisted.  I was born with my fathers taste-buds, meaning every meal I crave white bread with butter.  Today I made a salad for lunch, lettuce/tuna/egg/balsamic dressing.  It was good, but would have been better with Italian bread and butter.  Dinner was scrambled eggs with spinach and fat-free cheddar cheese again, it tasted good, but would have been better with ketchup and buttered toast.  Desert was a sugar free grape Popsicle, oh how I wish it was a brownie, or cookie, or ice cream.  I hate dieting!  Aaron loves it, these are his favorite foods.  Not me.  In an ideal world I would eat the following:

Breakfast - McDonalds Sausage burritos, fried egg sandwiches, corn beef hash, donuts, french toast

Lunch - Burgers, hot dogs, tuna fish sandwiches, chili with bread, any creamy soup with bread, chips

Dinner - Shepherds pie with bread, lasagna with bread, burgers with fries, mashed potatoes

Snacks and Deserts - Ice cream, cake, brownies, cookies, chocolate 

Like I said, my fathers taste-buds.  As a result my cholesterol is way to high and Im supposed to change my diet and take medicine until it is within normal limits.  This diet is supposed to be a lifestyle change.  The first two weeks are hard, but then you add in fruit and healthy carbs (and avoid white sugar and white flour products).  But thinking about it just makes me sad.  I love bad sugar and bad carbs!  The diet allows you to enjoy them occasionally after the first 2 weeks, but occasionally isn't lifting my spirits.  I am not even 12 hours in to the diet and I want to quit, cheat, or modify it to let me eat grilled tuna melts and hot fudge sundaes everyday.  I always lived by the philosophy eat what makes you happy because a short happy life is better than a long miserable life.  My dad and I would enjoy our big macs and laugh at people preaching healthy dieting for the sake of healthy and long living.  But then my father died at age 55 from heart disease and now my perspective is changing.  Moral support is much appreciated!

Getting Back on Track

Well it is time..... We are getting back on track with our South Beach Diet.  We started the diet back in April and fell apart a little more than a week into it, although we did lose some significant weight.  We are starting again this Sunday with Phase I (No Carbs, No Sugar Phase).  In April I started out at 153.3 pounds and got down to 145.7 pounds in 8 days.  We will weigh in on Sunday but Im averaging 148.8 pounds most days lately and most of my clothes that fit are a size 12.  Aaron is doing the diet as well, in fact he is the one pushing to get us back on track but he isn't a fan of telling everyone his weight so I'll only post how much he has lost.  In Phase I you lose mostly water weigh, which I don't have much of post colonoscopy so I may not see much weight loss.  What will we be eating you wonder, well here it is:

Phase I

Meat

Lean Cuts of Beef

Tenderloin

Skinless Chicken

Skinless Turkey

All Seafood

Boiled Ham

Canadian Bacon

Pork Tenderloin

Veal (chop/cutlet)

Low-fat-free Deli Meat

No Baked Ham

No Ribs

No Duck

Low-Fat or Fat-Free Cheese

American

Cheddar

Cottage Cheese

Feta

Mozzarella

Parmesan

Provolone

Ricotta

String

Swiss

Nuts

Natural peanut butter, 1 tsp

Peanuts, 20 small

Pecan halves. 15

Pistachios, 30

Eggs

No limits

Tofu

No limits

Fats

Olive Oil

Canola Oil

Dairy

None (although this is not clear, the book says none but then the Phase I recipes use skim and low-fat milk)

Veggies and Legumes

No Beets

No Carrots

No Corn

No Potatoes

Tomatoes (1 per meal)

No Yams

All green veggies

Turnips

Onion

Bell Peppers

Zucchini

Summer Squash

Spices Etc

No added Sugar spices

Broth

Extracts

Horseradish sauce

I can’t believe its not butter spray

Smart Balance Spread

Pepper (any kind)

Sweets

Limited to 75 cal/day

Sugar Free Hard Candy

Sugar Free Popsicles

Sugar Free Jell-O

Sugar Substitute

Sugar Free Fudgsicles

Fruit

None, except Avocado

Starch and Carbs

None

No Processed Foods

(No ketchup, mayo, jelly, jam or any processed/fatty/sugar/carb food) 

Sunshine Yellow.... Yuck!

This morning my mom came over and helped us paint our living room.  Aaron and I had picked out a pale yellow color from home depot.  After one stroke on the wall I hated it, it looks like the sun blew up in my living room.  Aaron liked it so we kept painting, and finished the room.  Mom said it might look better after it dries and so we accepted it.  After coming home tonight the verdict is in, it is horrible.  After talking to mom, who agrees the color is to bright we decided to re-paint the room.  I went to home depot tonight and bought more paint, this time a neutral sandstone color, something I can live with.  So mom will be making another visit to help repaint the room and hopefully Aaron likes it because he liked the yellow (seriously the room looked like a day care, all it was missing was some children's mural).

Other News:

Health Front:  Still no clear diagnosis.  colonoscopy didn't shed any new light.  But I'm feeling ok lately.

Bees:  Aaron declared that today was bee day, so he left this afternoon with Nate and John to do bee stuff and attempt grafting queens again.

House:  Well the walls are an ugly yellow at the moment, but we're working on that and the floor is going in soon.

Nothing else to do at 3am

Its 3am, and Im awake downing dry toast and ginger-ale in a desperate attempt to calm my stomach.  So to pass the time I'll update the blog.

Gardening Frontier:  The garden is doing well, we have tomatoes.  They are still green, but we're looking forward to eating our veggies soon.  We are having a serious mosquito problem which added with my frequent fatigue is making the weeding a challenge.  I always start with the tomatoes b/c they are my favorite plants right now and then I usually get 3 rows in before having to go inside, which means the last three rows have more weeds than veggie plants.   But we're still loving the garden, and from now on I will force myself to weed the other side of the garden.

Construction:  We are ready to install the new floor, now we just need to buy it so we can get started.  Hopefully it will be in before July.

Bees:  Aaron's first attempt at grafting larvae and rearing queens was a bust.  Originally he thought 8/13 grafts took, but it turns out the bees were just building comb and not developing the queen cells (a cell in the comb that the queen larvae grows in).  He was sad, but knowing Aaron he will master queen rearing very soon.  There is a strong nectar flow in CT right now and the bees are making lots of honey.  

Things will be slow this week since Im going to be out of commission part of tue and all of wed.  Im really looking forward to Thursday, the day I get to refill my belly/colon with yummy foods :)